You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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