He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
