He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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