I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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