it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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