i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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