It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
