I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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