I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
