called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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