Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
