she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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