i think my tv is drunk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
ttyl tear gas
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
