Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
