Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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