Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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