Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
