So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so that wasnt chicken after all
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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