im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
