i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Someone came in the potted fern
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
