Porn is love you can see.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
