I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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