Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Jerry, you need to find god
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
