dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
