I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
