So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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