Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize