It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
