Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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