Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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