If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
