In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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