Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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