That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
