I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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