I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also, beer. Big fan.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
