I've blown a few things in my day
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize