But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
