im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
