Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
