Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
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I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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