I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
