I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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