I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
