I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
