Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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