I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
