She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
