We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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