You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
