i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
