yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
