i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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