**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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