Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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