I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize