so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
