Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
