so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I understand Curling. That high.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
