His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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