maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
