How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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