you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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