You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
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I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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