I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
