I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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