Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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