I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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