She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize